My Band

Original

I don't know, dude.

I think everybody's all jealous and shit 'cause I'm like the lead singer of the band, dude.

And I think everybody's got a fucking problem with me, dude.

And they need to take it up with me after the show.

Because these chicks don't even know the name of my band.

But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands.

'Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man.

All because I'm the lead singer of my band. So I get off stage, right?

Drop the mic, walk up to these hot chicks and I'm all like, "What's up, ladies? My name's

Slim Shady. I'm the lead singer of D12, baby.

" They're all like, "Oh my God, it's him. Becky, oh my fucking God, it's him.

I swear to fucking God, dude, you fucking rock. Please Marshall, please let me suck your cock.

" Now by now, the rest of the fellas get jealous, especially when I drop the beat and do my a cappellas.

All the chicks start yelling, all the hot babes throw their bras and their shirts and their panties on stage. So like every single night they pick a fight with me.

But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry 'cause they're back on stage the next night with me. Dude, I just think they're trying to steal the light from me.

Yesterday Konami tried to pull a knife on me 'cause I told him Jessica Alba's my wife to be.

This rock star shit is the life for me and all the other guys just despise me because these chicks don't even know the name of my band.

But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands.

'Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man.

All because I'm the lead singer of my band.

My band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band.

All right, okay, all right. Damn right, man. Concrete, don't. . . Come on, man.

-Dude, give me this mic. -Ah, yeah.

You just wanna see a nigga backwards, don't you?

Hey Dad, how come we don't rap off Pro Tools?

Smash these vocals and do a performance but we in a van and he in a tour bus. You don't want my autograph, you's a liar. Dude, no, I'm Swifty.

-Oh, I thought you were Konami.

-What the hell is wrong with our dressing room? 'Cause our shit is looking smaller than a Decimo. See, I know how to rap.

It's simple, but all I did was read a Russell Simmons book.

So I'm more intact, trying to get on the map, doing jumping jacks while getting whipped on my back.

Look at him, little punk ass thinking he the shit.

Yeah, I know, man. By himself taking all the flicks.

Hey, I thought we had an interview with DJ Clue?

-No, I had an interview, not you two. -You gonna be late for SoundCheck.

-Man, I ain't going to SoundCheck. -Man, our mics is screwed up.

And his always sound best. You know what, man? I'ma say something.

-Ayo, Em. -You got something to say?

Man, I thought you was about to tell him off, man. What's up?

Man, I'ma tell him what I feel like it, man. Shut up.

You ain't even back me up -and we supposed to be cool. -Man, I was about to talk right after you.

-Oh, whatever. -I swear, man.

These chicks don't even know the name of my band.

But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands.

'Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man.

All because I'm the lead singer of my band.

They say the lead singer's dropped but the group is not.

Went from sold out arenas to amusement parks. I'm gonna let the world know that Proof is hot.

I should cut -his mic off when the music starts. -Hey, yo, what's-

Ready to snap on a dumbass fan every time I hear- -Hey, dude, I love your band.

-We in a band, bitch, we don't play instruments. So why I get 90 and we only get 10%?

And these guys acting funny up in -Area Code. -Proof gang, we're back.

Bitch, carry on. Can't make it to the stage, security in my way.

-Fuck you, here's Marty Franck. -Goddammit, I'm sick of this group.

It's time for me to go solo and make some loot.

I told you I made the beats and wrote all the raps. You a con artist, slip me some crack.

Lose Yourself video, I was in the back. Superman video, I was in the back. For the media, I got some suggestions.

Fuck Marshall, ask us the questions. Like who is D12? How'd we get started?

-But what about Eminem? -Bitch, are you retarded?

Anyway, I'm the poorest guy in the group. Big ass stomach, bitches think I'm cute.

Billy told me do sit-ups to get buff. Did two and a half and couldn't get up.

Fuck D12, I'm out of this band. I'm about to start a group with the Real Roxanne.

Girl, why can't you see you're the only one for me?

-And you just- -And it tears my ass apart to know that you -don't know my name. -Man, fuck this.

These chicks don't even know the name of my band.

But they all on me like they wanna hold hands.

-Fuck Marshall.

-'Cause once I blow I know that I'll be the -man. -Yeah.

All because I'm the new lead singer.

My band, my band, my band, my band, my band, my band, Roxanne, Shante, le sang.

Yeah.

The hottest boy band in the world,

D12.

I'm the lead singer of my band. I get all the girls to take off their underpants.

I'm the lead singer of my band.

My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance, my salsa.

Oh, oh, oh. Look out for my next single, it's called My Salsa.

My salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa, my salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance and take off their underpants.

My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance and take off their underpants, my salsa.

Where'd everybody go?