Family Therapy (Skit)

Original

Hey, welcome back, how's my boy Joyner doing?

I don't know what's goin' on with him, Doctor

He's outta control, he just doesn't listen

He does whatever he wants and fights with me

And now he refuses to take his medicine

Man, that's some bullshit

Ah, I see

And yesterday, I told him to clean his

Room and he called me a stupid bitch

No way, Joyner, why would you say that to your mother?

It's okay, baby, shit

Yeah, Doc, I mean, we tried everything

I took his PlayStation, I even whooped his ass

I've had plenty of talks with this kid

And even yesterday, he told me to go fuck myself

Wow

I mean, at this point, he just doesn't get it

We get a call from school like every single day

They're ready to expel him, kick him out of the school

And at this point, I can't keep missin' work for this kid

I get it, I get it, I've heard enough

Do you guys mind stepping out for a second

And leaving me and Joyner alone to talk?

Yeah, yeah, sure, no problem

Babe, get my purse

Joyner, come sit next to me so we can talk

Hey, I'm proud of you, you're doing exactly what I wanted you to do

Wait, what?

Hey, look at me, you make me proud, kid

You're a good boy, don't listen to what

Your parents are telling you to do

They don't know what's going on

So what do you want me to do?

I want you to continue to do what you're doing

But this time, I want you to do more, Joyner

You mean more like what?

I want you to open this bottom drawer

Right here and tell me what you see

Uh, that looks like a handgun

It sure is

Man, what you expect me to do with that?

I want you to do what we both know you really want to do

I want you to put this gun in your waistband

And walk out of my office and go on a rampage

Wait, what?

I want you to kill everything, anything moves, you kill it

Man, I don't think I could do that

Come on, Joyner, we both know you're a natural

Don't let that ADHD go to waste, pick up the gun

Man, I don't know if I can do this

Pick up the fucking gun

I said I can't do it

Pick up the fucking gun