More songs by Noize MC
More songs by Monetochka
Description
It seems someone has finally taken "helpful advice" to its logical conclusion. He listened to every guru on the internet so diligently that he even arranged his own death according to instructions - with a checklist, a playlist, and a cheerful postscript. Dancing at funerals, shampoo with toad extract, dinner with Satan - it's all like the best self-help tutorials, only with the smell of sulfur and irony. Beneath this frantic pace, there seems to be a tired smirk hidden: from endless rules, coaches, and promises of "how to live right." In this hell, even the devil sings melodically, and a person is still trying to be "the way they should be." It's scary, funny, and painfully familiar - when well-meaning advice sounds louder than your own thoughts.
Lyrics and translation
Original
Жил на свете человек впечатлительный, любым советам следовал неукоснительно.
Он, наверно, горел, нет, вообще-то, видимо, по совету из ютубовского видео.
Написал тот человек завещание, чтоб на повторе от начала до окончания этот трек играл на похоронной церемонии.
И чтоб гости плясали, все не филонили, со всей дури, чтоб силы не экономили.
Послушай мой совет в формате MP3.
Не жди, пока состаришься, скорее умри.
Жаль, что твои родители не childcare. Гори в аду, в аду гори.
Послушай мой совет в формате MP3.
Не жди, пока состаришься, скорее умри.
Жаль, что твои родители не childcare.
Гори в аду, в аду гори.
Сатана напевает эту песню в душе, пока жена ему готовит на кухне кушать.
Она знает, чем порадовать на ужин мужа, и достает из морозилки твою злую душу.
Пока в раковине тает кровавый лед, он шампунь с экстрактом жожоба берет и, намылившись весь от рогов до копыт, с закрытыми глазами то поет, то свистит.
То зазвучит, то как райская птичка, мотивчик, адский припевчик.
Настроение просто отличное, мелодично журчит водичка.
На кухне стучит молоток шипастый, на кухне шипит в сковородке масло.
Там дым коромыслом, и пар из пушка, как огонь вороньего, еда искусства. Послушай мой совет в формате MP3.
Не жди, пока состаришься, скорее умри.
Жаль, что твои родители не childcare.
Гори в аду, в аду гори. Послушай мой совет в формате MP3.
Не жди, пока состаришься, скорее умри.
Жаль, что твои родители не childcare. Гори в аду, в аду гори.
Люцифер уже смыл кондиционер. В зеркало посмотрел, видит, располнел.
Полотенце снял с крючка на стене, вытер голову и тело, халат надел.
Сел за стол, налил для аппетита сок из большой бутылки с перевернутым крестом.
От аромата урчит желудок пустой.
А ты такой кричишь ему с блюда: "Стой, нож не трожь, рот закрой, вилку не втыкай, не докроешь, я плохой, и мне надо в рай!
" Сатане не впервой слушать эту срань. Из рюмки крепкий настой льется через край прямо в рот.
Вот и все, выпит аперитив. Он мурлычет под нос все тот же мотив.
Сейчас они подкрепятся с женой нормально и отправятся антихриста делать в палю. Послушай мой совет в формате MP3.
Не жди, пока состаришься, скорее умри.
Жаль, что твои родители не childcare.
Гори в аду, в аду гори. Послушай мой совет в формате MP3.
Не жди, пока состаришься, скорее умри.
Жаль, что твои родители не childcare.
Гори в аду, в аду гори.
English translation
Once upon a time there lived an impressionable man who followed any advice strictly.
He was probably on fire, no, actually, apparently, on the advice from the YouTube video.
That man wrote a will so that this track would be played on repeat from beginning to end at the funeral ceremony.
And so that the guests dance, they don’t all show off, with all their might, so that they don’t waste their energy.
Listen to my advice in MP3 format.
Don't wait until you're old, rather die.
It's a pity that your parents don't provide childcare. Burn in hell, burn in hell.
Listen to my advice in MP3 format.
Don't wait until you're old, rather die.
It's a pity that your parents don't provide childcare.
Burn in hell, burn in hell.
Satan hums this song in the shower while his wife prepares food for him in the kitchen.
She knows what to please her husband for dinner, and takes your evil soul out of the freezer.
While the bloody ice is melting in the sink, he takes shampoo with jojoba extract and, lathering himself all over from horns to hooves, with his eyes closed, alternately sings and whistles.
It will sound like a bird of paradise, a tune, or a hellish chorus.
The mood is simply excellent, the water is babbling melodiously.
A spiked hammer is knocking in the kitchen, oil is sizzling in a frying pan.
There is smoke like a rocker, and steam from a cannon, like crow's fire, the food of art. Listen to my advice in MP3 format.
Don't wait until you're old, rather die.
It's a pity that your parents don't provide childcare.
Burn in hell, burn in hell. Listen to my advice in MP3 format.
Don't wait until you're old, rather die.
It's a pity that your parents don't provide childcare. Burn in hell, burn in hell.
Lucifer had already washed off the conditioner. He looked in the mirror and saw that he had gained weight.
He took the towel from the hook on the wall, dried his head and body, and put on his robe.
He sat down at the table and poured some juice for his appetite from a large bottle with an inverted cross.
The aroma makes my stomach growl empty.
And you shout to him from the dish: “Stop, don’t touch the knife, close your mouth, don’t stick the fork in, you won’t finish it, I’m bad, and I need to go to heaven!”
"This is not the first time Satan has listened to this crap. From the glass, a strong infusion pours over the edge directly into the mouth.
That's all, drink an aperitif. He hums the same tune under his breath.
Now he and his wife will eat normally and go to kill the Antichrist. Listen to my advice in MP3 format.
Don't wait until you're old, rather die.
It's a pity that your parents don't provide childcare.
Burn in hell, burn in hell. Listen to my advice in MP3 format.
Don't wait until you're old, rather die.
It's a pity that your parents don't provide childcare.
Burn in hell, burn in hell.