More songs by Zynakal
Description
Sometimes it seems like everything is in place - the smile, the conversations, even the phone charges on the first try. And inside, it's as if someone took the furniture out of the apartment and left only an echo. You seem to be alive, you seem to be functioning, but every thot is like a step down an empty corridor. It's echoing, lonely, and not very clear where you're even going. And it's not a drama, not an offense - just tiredness, neatly wrapped in "everything's fine." A smile like armor, jokes on schedule, and only in silence does it suddenly become clear that the strength to hold on is running out. But where something breaks, something new usually begins to grow. Between the lines, you can hear not defeat, but the quiet breath of hope - as if someone has finally stopped running and simply allowed themselves to be.
Lyrics and translation
Original
Telah lama aku simpan benda tak terluah. Dalam diam aku lari dari semua.
Bukan pengecut cuma dah terlalu jenuh. Nak terangkan pun takkan orang faham sungguh.
Aku senyum tapi dalam hati runtuh. Bila sorang-sorang baru rasa batu rapuh.
Hilang arah pura-pura steady. Dalam gelap aku cari diri sendiri.
Tajam tengokkan waktu aku termenung. Hingga tak sedar air mata terapung.
Banyak berfikir walaupun hati kosong. Tetap tersenyum walau hati berbohong.
Sebab ku tahu tiada yang akan ambil berat. Saat aku penat ataupun aku tak larat.
Masih senyum ikhlas walaupun buat-buat. Selagi aku mampu akan ku tunjuk kuat.
Tapi sampai bila aku nak begini. Saat masalah menimpa dan aku lari.
Itu bukan aku, cuma ku tak mampu. Hidup dalam bayang-bayang yang terus memburu. Aku lelah, lelah, lelah.
Dalam diam ku berserah. Ku susun ayat tangan di dada.
Pada Tuhan ku luah.
Telah lama ku simpan benda tak terluah. Dalam diam aku lari dari semua.
Bukan pengecut cuma dah terlalu jenuh. Nak terangkan pun takkan orang faham sungguh.
Aku senyum tapi dalam hati runtuh. Bila sorang-sorang baru rasa batu rapuh.
Hilang arah pura-pura steady. Dalam gelap aku cari diri sendiri.
Teka masa pin mulai hadir dalam diri. Seolah-olah memasaku lepas yang terisi.
Pergerakkan tubuhku hanya mampu kaku diam keliru.
Dalam diam aku lawan perasaan ini. Cuba pendam lagi dan lagi. Keluar dari pelung gue tak mampu kuhadapi.
Tak mampu hayati, tak mampu hindari.
Suna aku tiba-tiba terfikir. Sampai bilakah semua benda ni akan berakhir.
Adakah akan terhenti di tengah jalan.
Ataupun akan berhenti bila di hujung pernafasan. Saat ini aku cuma fikirkan kebangkitan.
Cuba buang negative thinking yang tiada kebaikan. Perbaiki diri ikut yang lurus jalan Tuhan.
Semoga tiada lagi masalah yang tersimpan.
Dalam diam aku menjerit. Cari erti dalam sakit.
Tak ada siapa pun yang tahu aku hampir jatuh dulu.
Dalam diamlah tabung hati yang berlubang.
Kalau aku hilang itu mungkin baru rasa kosong.
Telah lama ku simpan benda tak terluah. Dalam diam aku lari dari semua.
Bukan pengecut cuma dah terlalu jenuh. Nak terangkan pun takkan orang faham sungguh.
Aku senyum tapi dalam hati runtuh. Bila sorang-sorang baru rasa batu rapuh. Hilang arah pura-pura steady.
Dalam gelap aku cari diri sendiri.
English translation
I've been keeping things hidden for a long time. In silence I ran away from everything.
Not a coward, just too bored. Even if you explain it, no one will really understand.
I smiled but inside my heart collapsed. If someone just feels the stone is fragile.
Lost the direction of pretending to be steady. In the dark I look for myself.
I looked sharply when I was thinking. Until I didn't realize the tears were floating.
Think a lot even though your heart is empty. Keep smiling even though your heart is lying.
Because I know no one will take it seriously. When I'm tired or I don't feel like it.
Still a sincere smile even though it's fake. As long as I can, I will show strength.
But as long as I want to be like this. When trouble strikes and I run.
It's not me, I just can't do it. Living in the shadows that continue to hunt. I'm tired, tired, tired.
In silence I surrender. I put the verses with my hands on my chest.
To God I confide.
I've kept things hidden for a long time. In silence I ran away from everything.
Not a coward, just too bored. Even if you explain it, no one will really understand.
I smiled but inside my heart collapsed. If someone just feels the stone is fragile.
Lost the direction of pretending to be steady. In the dark I look for myself.
Guess when the pin starts to appear within you. It's as if my cooking leaves are filled.
My body movements could only be stiff and still wrong.
In silence I fought this feeling. Try hiding it again and again. Coming out of my cage I couldn't face it.
Unable to live, unable to escape.
Suna I suddenly thought. When will all this end?
Will it stop in the middle of the road?
Or it will stop at the end of exhalation. Right now I'm just thinking about resurrection.
Try to get rid of negative thinking that is not good. Improve yourself to follow God's straight path.
Hopefully there are no more problems left.
Silently I screamed. Find meaning in pain.
No one knew I almost fell first.
In silence is the hollow tube of the heart.
If I disappear it might just make me feel empty.
I've kept things hidden for a long time. In silence I ran away from everything.
Not a coward, just too bored. Even if you explain it, no one will really understand.
I smiled but inside my heart collapsed. If someone just feels the stone is fragile. Lost the direction of pretending to be steady.
In the dark I look for myself.